Hello, everyone!
It's great to be here.
So, I'm from Japan.
Have we got anyone from Japan tonight?
[No]
Of course all the Japanese are still at work…
So I've been living this country for 11 years
11 years now and I really love living in this country very much so…
But sometimes things frustrate me and let me share with you…
The other day I was on the train, and a poster that caught my eye and it said
“93.12% of all on the overground trains run within 5 minutes of their trade all the time between 28th of June 2015 to 12 July 2015.”
Is this confession?
Underneath it said:
“We are improving our journey on London Overground”
Are they apologising?
Because I thought the trains are supposed to be running within 0 minutes of their scheduled time.
In Japan, trains are on time like *proper* on time - on time.
So that morning, I was very tired.
So even though I was in a rush hour, I couldn't stop myself.
And I said to the poster
Out loud…
“I forgive you”
Because as I said earlier, I really love living in this country because people are more laid back and relaxed than people back home.
And there is one word, one beautiful English word I love.
And we don't have this word in Japanese.
It is “-ISH”
So I decided to bring this “-ish” concept back home.
So the last time, when I visited my family..
I told my mom
“Lets meet up at one-ish”
But because we don't have this word, I said to her
“let's meet up in between 1:05 and 1:25”
I saw her eyes
With confusion and rage.
I believe that this “-ish” culture began long time ago and it is in people's blood..
That's why people are called Brit”-ish”
So I leave you with this.
The other day I was walking down the street and there was one very good looking, young, white English man..said to me:
“Ni hao”
Maybe some of you know this meaning..
This means hello in Chinese.
But I thought it's quite nice because you know, living in this modern society.
No one really says hello to strangers on the street.
So I said hello…
In Polish.
Get it right motherfucker.